ALWAYS WEAR GLOVES

"ole' boy" wire, paper, glue,   spray paint  2022 king of the trash  he was created for halloween but i've realized this is a good technique for me. an excellent medium. my drawing skills are "ok" but hard to sell. art is fun game to play but you have to figure out what rules you want to play by. is this an artist statement? I suppose it is. why not? everybody has told me since i was born that i am a good artist. I am quite sure that's why i might be. confidence is everything. I don't think I am that good but i do know i have ideas that need to come out. getting paid to give them to other people seems fine to me. -Bkiv 11/2/2022  

We never face regret like we do at funerals. Shit, i am writing another fucking death post. Well, this one is personal so I will let it pass for the time being.  there is nothing more selfish than grief.   I don't think that we are ever really done with people that we love and that includes people that we don't know. That sadness that folks feel when their hero, even if it's someone they would never in a lifetime meet or know...dies,  is real and undeniable. we weren't done listening to them. reading their words. seeing them drive fast cars on the screen. we lose our celebrities and mourn them because like it or not, we have developed relationships regardless of "knowing" them. i realize that this notion is built on fantasy and escapism but shit, what good would life be without fantasy and escapism. Ugly, that's what it would be.  I will tell the truth here and say that I am writing this one because I have to write about my uncle kurt. most of this post pa

I think this will be a part of a series of letters I write to people I am intrigued with and have something to say to even though I  have no idea if the letter will even reach them. this one has a doozy in it that I have only eluded to in the past.   Dear Jeff Tweedy,  It's pretty weird to be writing you a letter. Going over it last night as I was attempting to sleep did not account for thinking about you actually reading it. I have had this project in mind that involved sending postcards to "people of note" but hadn't tried to look up any addresses on the internet until last night. After reading about the new box set of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, I decided to look up your address on google and much to my surprise, a fairly reasonable address popped up for you. I haven't written a letter that wasn't electronically transmitted since the technology first came to be.  This could DEFINITELY be considered a fan letter. I don't know how many of those you get but this

NOW THAT i AM A FULL TIME GROCERY STORE EMPLOYEE, IV'E BEEN GIVEN PAUSE TO THINK ABOUT GREAT and historical GROCERY FIGURES, COUNTER CULTURE IF YOU WILL. i HAVE KNOWN THROUGHOUT LIFE. iT'S AN ARTFORM, YOU KNOW?  first though, i decided to start delivering for door-dash on my scooter. I think it could be the way to game the system they have in place. I can use the scooter and not worry about silly miles on the van and i get about 100 mpg with the motorcycle vs. 17 in the van. that seems helpful? Well, fucked up the first time I dashed and drove needlessly out of my way for not very much $ per hour but i won't get fooled again. it was hilarious and dangerous and frivolous and pretty fun.  that being said, door dashing does not involve management or much customer service. it's an evil way to make money with an evil system. I need to figure out how to sell weed while I do it to offset my karma. shouldn't be too hard to figure out.  there was a grocery checker in the 19

I am being trained at the market for some "manager" duties. this is a giant mistake on their part. it's my fault that they have embarked on this mission but that doesn't make the decision to do so any wiser on their part.  what happened was that I got involved with a possible second job delivering bread for an amazing local bakery. I had about 72 hours of decision making crashing around in my head last weekend. i worked a shadow shift with the bread folx. before we even got in the truck the owner had offered me a position with the company that i really had TO ponder. it was better money, better people and definitely reflected my worth in the eyes of the bread company. they are friends and know the recent past as far as the restaurant/pub was concerned so it was a nice stroke to the bartego to feel wanted for reasons of reputation. more on that later i guess.  the big issue, among a few minor issues, was that i would have to quit the market job to do the delivery job.

FUCK REALTORS WE'VE ALL BEEN WORKING ON OUR IDENTITIES OUR entire lives right? some more than others. I have certainly been creating a persona over the last 10 years. I had a somewhat different one before that, I guess. How much does what we "do" end up being what we "are" is a difficult question, for me anyway...I have been involved in using my "personality" as my career in many ways for many years now. It's only been in the last few that I have  genuinely realized and accepted that. I am good at making people feel good. really good actually. that gets me in trouble in relationships beyond the counter. I sell well. I show well. the fucky part is that it's easy for others to place what they need for themselves upon me. i translate those needs back to people and it makes them feel like they are cared for, listened to and in the end, understood. I think this is true anyway.   what do i get from this. well, i feel good about making others feel goo