ALWAYS WEAR GLOVES

Who am I to think that google ads won't bother you? Why shouldn't I try? Luckily no one ever reads this anyway and has become mostly an excuse for me to wonk merrily along in my own private cyber confessional. It has been a long time since my last confession... We are a funeral home that still shows full caskets. we have a room that allows one to peruse the boxes, kick the tires, open and close the lids, (with help from me please, THOSE HINGES WILL BEND IF YOU ARE NOT A PROFESSIONAL SUCH AS I!), touch the fabric, etc. I like those caskets in all of their glory. It is my "reality room". Nothing brings it home like 25 or so open mawed-wood-steel or cardboard caskets screaming "A DEATH HAS OCCURED!". It helps me do my job of bringing a sense of "why we are really here". However, caskets are large and when you bring 25 or so of them into a room you tend to take up a whole bunch of room. SO, we at ______ - ________ Funeral Chapel are inching sl...

I sit here and forget what it was I was going to write. I have been going through some "training" lately that involved clergy leaders and hospice/social workers. The last two days have been sort of exausting and now I think I am finnally getting the sickness from my family unit that I thought that I had evaded. Let's see, something poignant...something wise...hmmmm..... Well, I am sitting here at work tonight tending to a Pentecostal Russian service. That is pretty interesting isn't it? The singing is beautiful. I can't understand Russian. They are pretty self-serve folks. I have tried to be very attentive to their needs in the past and it seems to be of little consequence. In the end, the service will start at some undisclosed time, a man will preach, they will sing, another man will preach, they will sing, another man will preach, they will sing, it will end. Oh, there doing the one thing again, the man will start preaching with a sort of pleading and get ...

I am losing a colleague this week. He is moving on to greener pastures. I have known for some time that he might leave and it is strange to finally confront this fact. This person was here when I got here and has been here for a long time. 10 years I guess. He has seen much over his tenure and I have attempted to download this knowledge to the best of my ability. He has made comments this week that have troubled me, and that is why his leaving has left me with a strange taste in my mouth. He said that while looking for a job he realized that the employment opportunities were plentiful. He said that if you needed a job, that they were everywhere. What is troubling me is that he seems to simply consider this profession “just a job”, a simple set of skillsets learned that could be applied “anywhere”. while that logic is true to the most extent it seems to ignore the fact that this “job” is so much more than that, (at least in my mind). To put in 10 years at a place and realize, in h...

I am awakened at 3:30 AM by my pager. I climb out of bed and call the number listed on the screen. it is the number of the other funeral director that I share my “on call” duties with. He tells me that we have a “house call” and to meet him at the funeral home. we meet and then embark on a journey to a house that is somewhere in the valley. This could be anywhere from the _____of ______ to ______ to the ditch on Mile Marker 87 . If the death occurred at a hospital or care facility I would be going alone For the sake of the scenario we will say it is a house in _____. After arriving at the home my colleague and I will gather some limited information from the family present at the house and then “remove” the deceased’s body from the house. We use an ambulance-like gurney to do this. The reason we have two people go on these calls is typically because you never know where someone is going to die. Most of the time it is in a bed, but many times it can be in the tub, or on the toilet, or we...

When people ask you, “How can you do what you do?” what do you tell them? If you say, “Well, someone has to do it” PLEASE QUIT NOW. GO SELL CARS. If you do not think that you are the luckiest human on earth to be given the privilege of caring for the bereaved and their dead then I am not sure the industry needs you any longer. When someone asks you, “Doesn’t this job get you down? Are you depressed all of the time” and you reply, “No, nothing really bothers me anymore” GET OUT OF THE BUSINESS, YOU ARE NO GOOD TO US ANY MORE. LEARN TO CUT HAIR. This job absolutely has to weigh you down on a day to day basis. We need to cry when funerals touch our hearts. That is how we know that we are still caring. When I go to someone’s home at 3:30 AM and I meet a person that is so lost in terror and grief because their loved one has just died. My heart BETTER go out to them. When I get that same person into the arrangement room the next day and we begin the process of creating a meani...

Vociferous Definition: [adj] conspicuously and offensively loud ; given to vehement outcry ; " blatant radios "; " a clamorous uproar "; " strident demands "; " a vociferous mob " Synonyms: blatant , clamant , clamorous , noisy , strident Bush said it during the last debate. I don't think he meant it the way he said it. In other news: the week goes well. I created a memorial video last night. My most effecient endeavor to date. I have the process relatively "dialed in" now. I was accosted (in a most friendly way) today by a Jehovah's Witness. He told me all sorts of things about the truth. I listened for awhile, nodded and smiled, listened intently, and then decided that I had had enough. I explained to him (in a most friendly way) that what he spoke of as "truth" was a simple reflection of his faith. He believed it, and that made it true. I don't believe it, so I don't thin...