So, I finally got DSL at my house now.

Now that I have this amazing power at home. I should really be able to post more, not that anyone reads this anyway. Let's talk about dysfunction shall we?

Actually I don't want to talk about dysfunction. I would rather write about how sad I am about Dr. Hunter S. Thompson committing suicide this last weekend. He was my Hemingway and he went out just like him. I will miss the musings of this man. I really wonder what he had in the hopper about the current state of affairs. It' s probably what made him kill himself.

"Sometimes A Great Notion" - Kesey, "Down The River" - Abbey, "Stranger In Strange Land"- Heinlein, all of these works have shaped me in ways that I can only vaguely understand. Thompson, I understand, he wrote from a place of balls-out blurred line reality that only the initiated can taste. When I went to see the film version of "fear and loathing", it made the hairs standup on the back of my neck, I knew that I could never go down that road again. I will miss this man's prose. I will miss his theory. His world made sense to me. His passion for truth, his abandonment of it, somewhere lies the truth in that.

The dysfunction thing form above comes from dealing with fucked up families. Not just your general grief stricken families, (or even the really messed up ones due to traumatic death interaction) I mean the general, average folks who lose a loved one and have rooms full of baggage that I have to wade though in order to proceed with a meaningful ritual. This week just clinched it for me I suppose. This week I came to grips with the fact that only about 10%, (and that is being liberal) of the people I meet with have it together. Is this an indication of the constituency of the funeral home I work for? I don't know. I simply see very little attempt, in the general populace, to look introspectively, and make moves towards understanding who they/we are for the better. On the whole it seems we are ready to swallow what we are told by the media, that the government is right, and that it is okay quit and go to sleep. It certainly is easier that way and I suppose that is the clincher isn't it, it's easier. We are told that what is easier is better and most people buy that. Why wouldn't they? By all logical guidelines that steer us towards happiness, that must be the best approach towards life. UNFORTUNATELY, I have a different opinion. I have been cursed with the inability to believe that Jesus died for my sins. I feel sorry for people that die in other countries at the hand of our supreme military. I don't believe in circumcision, commissioned sales, flu-shots, the democratic party (although there is hope with Dean), sealed vaults, new cars, fanaticism, pop-country, extreme makeovers, Christian radio, James Dobson, homeland security or anything attributed to mahogany. I simply will not stand for mahogany.

so long ago

I find that because no one reads this thing that I have a hard time updating it. it has been so long.

Lately, I have been pondering what I really do. Lately, I have decided that I am a middle man between you and what you are supposed to do when someone dies. You don't always know what to do and I don't always know what you need. Really, all I am is the guy that is willing to be bothered in the middle of the night, (besides the ones who are taking care of the loved one before they die) and the family with ( or not with ) the person that dies. I am the guy willing to undertake the responsibility of being bothered. Besides that fact, I am the only one legally allowed (at least in my state) to sell you a casket, cremate a body, sell you a pre-arranged/prefunded funeral. I also tend to keep up on the literature, read the books, and study the way people grieve.

I am getting better at figuring out what you need.

A few things that you need to understand:

You could do this yourself if you wanted to and you would probably be better off if you did, however, you probably don't want to and you probably want help.

What you get from me is my experience and my service, not the crap I can sell you if you want it.

Most Americans don't know what they want and don't understand what is possible. They are trapped in a model handed down from the civil war. - Most funeral homes don't know how to step away from this model and help you figure out what you need!!!

I am but a keeper of ritual. I am the one that knows more than you about what to do with dead bodies. You are the one that will have to suffer the consequences of not doing this right. When you suffer, I suffer. I want to help you do this right.