making sense:part one (but more that likely the beginning of a long chapter on sadness and suffering)

This post has been comin' on for a month. I only hope I can convey what I am thinking. It's funny, a real writer would actually write something and work on it for a few weeks until it was right, but no, not me, just klick on the itunes radio and start the hunt and peck. post what may. ok?

I have a post [each time you see these brackets I will tell you what I am listening to, The Meices just ended, now we have the Butthole Surfers, oh crap, short song, now its the Germs, We Must Bleed, mmmmm good.] sitting on the hard drive at work. I am not at work. I sit at home on my first night off after being on call all weekend. I have had too many beers to be comfortable tomorrow, not drunk, but feeling creative, and will have another. I started that post with a [Einstyrzende Neubauten - Morning Dew] a bit of a diatribe about two rich ladies doin their Mom's makeup and hair. They did not like how she looked when they started, felt that her neck looked weird. Well, it probably did, she was dead. The unfortun [Soundgarden -– My Wave apparently this is for you Mr. H.] ate part of her condition was only that the poor ladies could not see the forest for the trees. They were/are people that are very used to getting what they want. Well, you can't always get what you want. I don't want to write about them any way. We buried their mom today and it's over. Lets just say [Servotron -– S.R.A] I ended up not liking them more and more as time wore on. They were rich and learned nothing. It makes me sad and I don't want [Tuxedomoon -– Next To Nothing, this whole itunes thing is getting in the way but I can't stop now, I dare you to find all these songs and read this while you listen] to dwell on them anymore. YET! I must. I must dwell on the rich and powerful in order to write this stupid post. I must [Wendy Carlos - Moonscapes: Iapetus] dwell on it cause I need to figure a few things out.

1. Jeez. I could talk about Katrina and how it made my heart so sick that I could not sleep but I really can't convey that sentiment right now in words. I think it is basically my fault for listening to the news and picking up on a few stories that [Spirit -– I Got A Line On You, oh man i love this song, and for the record I am listening to Dr. Yo at 96kbps] just simply freaked my shit. I could not handle a universe that allowed such pure evil to float around unchecked. And then, I realized that this was probably the tip of the human [The Jerrymanders, Vocal by William H. Arpaia - Listen Mr Hat, Written By William H. Arpaia] suffering crucible. I couldn't stand that, I could not handle it. And don't get me wrong [Camper Van Beethoven -– She Divines Water, mmmmmmmmmmm] I am not talking about stealing plasma TV's (as if you didn't figure that out by now, you KNOW the stories I am speaking of and if you don't good.) I don't care one hair about looting. I just seemed to get in touch with human suffering and I have not been that close to it for awhile and I don't want to get close again but at the same time I never want to forget it because I think that is the only way that I can truly be reasonable and [The Dead Milkmen -– Swordfish] responsible towards what is really happening on this earth right now. [Renaldo and the Loaf - The Elbow Is Taboo] On one hand I have the great responsibility to my family. And on another hand I have a great responsibility to my family, the ones I share this boat with. I am pissed cause I hate the ones that hate yet know I can't hate cause hate can't fix. [Captain Beefheart -– Plastic Factory] I just decided that this post is part one of two. I will leave you with what came to me as I drove home from the cemetery today after burying the rich sisters mom. God is the face of Love. God is the face of Love. God is the face of Love.