wow. sorry. I guess. poor little blog, so neglected...
I am back. Really. If there is anyone out there that still gets a post feed for this thing well...hello again.
Let's start at the beginning of the new beginning. I am still a mortician, that did not change. My out look on this profession has not changed much either, I think it is rife with corruption, misdirection and greed. I don't do that shit so it has little bearing on me and what I do so there is that I suppose. What has changed in my world of the dismal trade is that I don't care what others do. Doing this job as a zombie (which is another thing that I believe now, I think that if a zombie attack came on, undertakers would really be the only ones that could save the earth. remember that, we may be the only hope for all of humanity in that scenario) will only serve to mess up that individual. People have choices. They can choose to be free and open and truthful or they can choose to bury their heads in convention and plod dutifully on.
My wife and I are divorcing after being together for about 14 years. we are doing this because we need to. Because we want to. It is nobodies business but ours. we have two beautiful boys that will know that they have two parents that not only love them with all of their hearts and souls but have two parents that love each other enough to still be be amazing friends. Friends that were once lovers. People that care enough for one another that they know that staying together will cause them to not be the amazing beautiful people that they are.
I have a new idea for a crematory here where I live. This particular idea would turn the industry completely on it's head. I am very excited about it. It would be called ____________ CREMATORY AND FUNERAL HOME and then underneath the name would read "fuck you, it's cheap" . What do you think? Stripping the business from any sort of compassion or caring and getting down to the business at hand, getting rid of grandma's body. I mean, it is just a body right? Our firm would have death certificate forms and cremation authorizations available on our website. We would accept all major credit cards over the phone. Bringing in your own container for the cremated remains would be encouraged. If you wanted to save another 100 bucks, you could bring your dead to us. We don't care. We would be cheap. you think I am kidding. I am not. This is the model that needs to rise up from the wreckage right now. At least we would be honest...
We spend so much time attempting to figure out how to think based on what other people tell us. what a refreshing thought it is to finally think for ourselves based on how we feel. Anyone out there feel that?
I have never been more ready and optimistic in my life. I am headed off to live with my parents next weekend. This will be in the house that I grew up in. I will be sleeping in the room in the basement that I listened to a CD player for the first time. the room that saw my first porn mags and crusty socks. The room that has the closet I tried to grow dope in until my mom noticed the light coming out of the steamer trunk. The room I cried myself to sleep in when life just seemed too complicated.
Well, life got more complicated than that. A lot more. My path has taken me on some pretty amazing journeys. All of those journeys boil down to one thing. Now. right fucking now. The future will come. The past is gone but never forgotten. Now is when I can be hopeful. Now is when I can be filled with love. The world is truly an amazing place if we are willing to open ourselves up to that.
Thank you to all of the people out there that have been there when I was ready to learn from them. I have become who I am because I took something from every single one of you. I will repay you by dispersing your wisdom to anyone willing to listen.
I am thinking about opening up this blog to a new contributor. After this post I doubt he will want to. I encourage him to read further. It is time for morticanswax to grow into something new and better. -A. Mortician
12 comments:
wow. please keep writing.
Yes, please keep writing, and keep returning to the now.
How is the business, "rife with corruption, misdirection and greed."? What kind of corruption can the death industry possess? And isn't this the primary modus operandi of any business...to be greedy? That is the purpose of a business is to create a profit. To think any less is just being plain naive. You can have wonderful intentions on helping others but it all boils down to whether or not you are able to turn a profit, thus staying in business to help others and further continue the cycle. It sounds like you are very angry and disenchanted with your chosen job and may be better suited for the peace corp or your local soup kitchen.
Your comment is perfect Mr. Anonymous. Taking one sentence from my little rant and making an entire assumption about everything. Well done. You are a wise one indeed. Keep it up, the world needs more brilliant minds like yours.
The assumption was not based upon one sentence, and I apologize if it came across that way. I read the rest of your posts...it was based upon a culmination of things that you said. My comments were not meant to be mean spirited. I am just curious as to why you are in a profession that you view as filled with greedy, self-absorbed, pretentious individuals. You may indeed be happier being a pub owner. You cannot expect to make the comments you make and assume everyone will agree with you, my brutha! By the way, you don't have to resort to using facetious mean spirited jabs. You are better than that.
Hmmmm, interesting. I guess first and foremost I must disagree with your idea that all businesses first order of business is profit. I do not do what I do because of the lousy paycheck that I get. I do it for one reason. I am good at it.
I wonder, other than my blog, what you actually know about the funeral industry? Are you involved in it in some way? Do you have some insight that would help me understand how you could have an opinion about it either way?
When I was a young apprentice. I witnessed my boss, the owner of the funeral home, walk an elderly woman into the casket selection room. He knew she had a credit card that she had never used in her life. He walked her over to the most expensive Cherry-Wood on the floor and said "would your husband expect anything less?" he then walked her out of the room and continued with the arrangement.
I am in this profession (partly) to make sure that never happens to anyone on my watch.
I am in this profession to help people figure out what to do when they don't know what to do. Sometimes that means sending them down the street to a less expensive funeral home.
I am in this profession to protect it from itself.
Thank you for taking the time to explain where you were coming from. I would love to continue this conversation.
Oh and I am going to continue to be a pretentious, opinionated prick when I am on here. It's my blog.
Thank you for picking my identity for me. And, yes, I too am a mortician with years of experience. And also like you, I entered the business wanting to make a difference and I believe my purpose is helping others. I do not believe you should do anything based upon whether or not your are good at it. You should do it because you love it. You then become good at it because you pour your heart and soul into it. I also believe other that many other f.d's are mannequinesque in stature and sanctimonious in actions. There are many in the profession who I thought were once friends but found out they are nothing but self-serving egocentric bastards. But then again, there are others that are truly wonderful people that our industry is fortunate enough to have. The profession itself is evolving and just like any other business it has those few unscrupulous individuals who ruin it for others. I have to continue to hope that those will be eventually weeded out.
I am also curious, Mr. Anonymous, how did you find this blog? I enjoy your words and they give me hope. I think that we might be more on the same page than not.
Someone told me about it so I thought I would check it out. You may indeed be correct about us being on the same page. I think I have just become a little cynical and jaded as of late. Not only of our industry but of our humanity as a whole. By the way, sorry to read about your impending divorce. It has to be rough...especially with the kids.
I have a suggestion for a new service that you might consider offering at "____________ CREMATORY AND FUNERAL HOME". I'd like to suggest a "loaded gift basket" that will allow the deceased one last chance to make a lasting impression. It goes something like this... I meet with you to pre-plan my funeral. A few years later I die from injuries sustained during a vicious raccoon attack. Now, according to the preneed you cut off a portion of my ass, mix it into freshly made cookie dough, roll the dough into 1" balls evenly spaced and bake at 350 temp for 10mins. Then they are delivered to my former boss. It's earth friendly and it also gives me a chance to feed more then just worms.
@rcboi66, brilliant. no other words. brilliant.
@Mr. Anonymous thank you for your words again. I appreciate everything you are saying. The "issue" that could stand to take me out of this industry is the dysfunctional nature of our society. Fighting over cremated remains? really? I know you have see it too...
Just like Walmart we want everything cheap and we want it now. Ruled by immediate gratification. I use to think that I knew it all...what was best for grieving families. Now I realize I don't know shit other than what is best for me. And that is questionable at times. I was brainwashed for too long by those who went before us. I know what you mean about families fighting over petty bullshit. But then again they most likely have been that way their entire lives. Grief does not changes one's personality...it only makes one more of what they already were prior to the death.
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