I can't sleep worth a shit these days. My schedule is pretty wacky. I have a job again. Working at the M&W market. So strange really, all these years of going there for everything. Jesus. Just thinking about a million years ago moving in with my parents house with those two boys. Blowing up worlds. So much unknowing caring so much about unknowing. just keeping it together. M&W was there. Thanks for all the beers!. 

I quit drinking. Can you believe I did that? CRAZY! feels really good. I kinda hate that shit now. Such a great way to not do it anymore. Sort of like the pills? That hurt more. I didn't tell you about that. I don't think I want to. No one knew. How insane. So fucked in that basement. Writing around in sweat and hatred. 

I quit drinking because I couldn't look myself in the eye anymore. Shame is a heavy bitch. Guilt is a dagger. Am I over all that shit? I might be. I am almost 50. That's fucked huh? 

I live with a girl now. Close to where I used to live with a girl, and then didn't. Had roommates. Drama. 

Not sure how I got here. The future is in front of me. Seems as though you can just muddle through it and if you do that for long enough, you learn what you shouldn't do? Maybe? FuckifIknow.

 Make a nest.