MAKING THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE

I am being trained at the market for some "manager" duties. this is a giant mistake on their part. it's my fault that they have embarked on this mission but that doesn't make the decision to do so any wiser on their part. 

what happened was that I got involved with a possible second job delivering bread for an amazing local bakery. I had about 72 hours of decision making crashing around in my head last weekend. i worked a shadow shift with the bread folx. before we even got in the truck the owner had offered me a position with the company that i really had TO ponder. it was better money, better people and definitely reflected my worth in the eyes of the bread company. they are friends and know the recent past as far as the restaurant/pub was concerned so it was a nice stroke to the bartego to feel wanted for reasons of reputation. more on that later i guess. 

the big issue, among a few minor issues, was that i would have to quit the market job to do the delivery job. conundrum ensues. quit stupid job that i've just wrapped my brain around to accept smart job that i don't have a handle on at all. dollar more pay, benefits, quick and dirty hours. new horizons for the company that they wanted my help with. my caretaker ethos were properly triggered. hemming and hawing I chose to stick with stupid job. I am so happy i did. I realized a lot about my needs with those 72 hours. I really do need to be able to express my weird customer service guy. the market exposes this to me so well. i need to be a weirdo. it will more than likely get me fired but i knew that going in. 

i am not working for the market anyway, the market works for me. 

it is incredibly important to believe that you have something to offer the world. you shape the world around you as much as it shapes you. 

so i decided to use the bakery job against the market. not in a malicious way, just a simple "you need me more than i need you" way. i had planted the seeds with the market that i was going to be taking another job on the weekends but the hours would not conflict with my current schedule. dropping this nugget on management was not without impact. suffice to say that when the market powers understood that i had worth beyond the scope of their current mindset, they did a bit of a dance for me. that being said..

my assistant training began with the overlooked assistant manager that evening. I need to paint a picture of the overlooked.  i'll be brief...gordon (not his real name) has been working at the market for at least 100 years. watching him explain how to count a till out for the market was like watching magician explain a card trick. expertly his hands moved in motions he'd performed so many times that his hands were no longer attached to his body. his mouth muttered incantations, blessing the paper and coin and cheque and stamp to their place. not here anymore, now here, and with this move knowledge was accrued and set in motion for the day to come next when it would happen again. histories were given of magi before that graced the notes of profit. how the old ones had done it before and how the new ones tread in dark waters of change with the change. it was fascinating. a simple task taken to levels that not even gordon really understands. make the tills two-hundred whispered the ancients. 

all this because I wanted more money for my time. 

time is our most precious commodity. it's priceless really. mine is constantly fucked with. i am wrestling the universe for control of it again. I don't think i have ever had a great grasp of it but then again i've never known it's real weight until now. 

a little less than 24 hours has passed since I started this post and
already my plan to gain better access to slack has been run awry. i have to go deal with that now and i'm perplexed by it. i shouldn't be, but i am. 

this thing is quickly becoming a book about management AND ALL OF THE IMAGES ABOVE WERE MADE BY ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE PROGRAMS.